20 Unhelpful Thinking Patterns
When thoughts take over reality,
learn to recognise your patterns.
What are cognitive distortions?
Cognitive distortions are unhelpful patterns of thinking that change the way we see ourselves, others, and the world around us. They act as mental filters that twist reality, often making things seem more negative or extreme than they really are. These thought patterns are usually automatic and we rarely question their purpose or accuracy, leading to negative mental health outcomes. Once you start noticing these patterns, you can begin to challenge and change them, leading to clearer, more balanced thinking.
I see many clients in my private practice who struggle with unhelpful thinking patterns, which often contribute to low mood or increased anxiety. It’s helpful to understand that everyone experiences these thoughts from time to time, which is a normal part of being human. The problem arises when a person becomes particularly reliant on specific patterns of thinking, allowing them to dominate their thoughts and negatively impact their wellbeing. It’s also common for a person to have multiple unhelpful thinking patterns occurring simultaneously, which can compound negative emotions and make coping more difficult. The following is a non-exhaustive list of common unhelpful thinking patterns, designed to help you identify those you may experience.
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Definition
Also known as all-or-nothing or polarised thinking, black-and-white thinking occurs when situations, ourselves, or others, are viewed in absolute extremes. With this thinking pattern, there is little room for nuance or complexity — something is either all good or all bad, a total success or an utter failure. This rigid mindset is often driven by perfectionism, where anything less than perfect is judged as unacceptable or a complete failure.
Indicators
Viewing situations, others, or yourself in extremes (e.g., “perfect” vs. “failure,” “all good” vs. “all bad”).
Using absolute words such as always, never, all, none, every time.
Seeing mistakes as total failure rather than opportunities to learn.
Believing that anything short of perfect is unacceptable.
Making rigid judgments about self or others without middle ground.
Statements like:
“If I don’t succeed completely, I’m a failure.”
“They didn’t reply, so they must hate me.”
“I made one mistake; the whole project is ruined.”
Example
Imagine you are giving a presentation at work. You stumble over a couple of sentences and forget one of your points. Instead of recognising that most of it went well and your message still came across, black-and-white thinking tells you, “I completely blew it. I’m terrible at public speaking. I shouldn’t do this again.” In reality, it was just a small mistake in an otherwise good presentation, but with black-and-white thinking, it feels like total failure.
We can reframe this thought by looking at the situation more realistically and say, "I stumbled a bit, but overall the presentation went well. It's normal to make small mistakes, and I can use this as a learning opportunity.” Through reframing, a person can move from harsh self-judgement to a perspective that is more realistic and compassionate.
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Definition
Catastrophising is seeing only the worst possible outcomes of a situation and assuming they will happen, even when they are unlikely. This pattern of thinking can make problems appear much larger and more daunting than they really are.
Indicators
Catastrophic thinking often begins with “what if” statements, imagining the worst possible scenario: “What if I mess up this presentation? What if my team thinks I’m incompetent? What if I lose my job? What if I can’t pay my bills?” Learning to challenge catastrophic thoughts and examine the likelihood of outcomes can help to reduce anxiety and gain a more balanced perspective.
Example
For example, imagine you send a text to a friend and don’t get a reply right away. A catastrophic thought might be, “They must be angry with me and never want to talk again,” even though the likely explanation is that they’re just busy or haven’t seen your message yet.
This thought can be reframed by considering the situation more realistically: "Maybe they’re just busy or haven’t seen my message yet. I can check in later if I’m still worried." This shifts the focus from the worst possible scenario to a more balanced perspective, creating space for patience instead of panic.
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Definition
Mind reading is an unhelpful thinking pattern in which a person assumes they know what another person is thinking or feeling, without any evidence to support it. These assumptions may lead to misunderstandings, poor communication, and unnecessary conflict, which can reinforce this thinking pattern.
Indicators
A person with this unhelpful thinking pattern often uses phrases such as “They think…,” “They are…,” or “They don’t…,” reflecting assumptions about another person’s thoughts or feelings without evidence.
Example
For example, imagine you message a colleague asking for feedback on a project and they ignore your request. You might assume, “They must be annoyed with me” or “They think my work is terrible,” even though there is no evidence supporting this. In reality, they might simply be too busy, or haven’t seen your message yet.
A more balanced perspective would be, “They might be busy or haven’t seen my message yet. I can follow up later if needed.” This helps to reduce unnecessary stress and helps you respond more calmly rather than reacting to assumptions about another.
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Definition
Fortune telling is a thinking pattern in which a person expects a situation to turn out badly, even though there is no evidence to support that belief. This thinking pattern often increases anxiety and worry, as well as avoidance of situations expected to have negative outcomes.
Indicators
A person with this unhelpful thinking pattern might say, “I’m going to fail the meeting,” “This presentation will be a disaster,” or “I’ll never get this right,” predicting negative outcomes without any evidence.
Example
For example, imagine you’re invited to speak at a team meeting. You might think, “I’m going to mess up and everyone will think I’m incompetent,” even though there’s no evidence for this. As a result, you might feel anxious beforehand or even try to avoid speaking altogether.
Instead of predicting a negative outcome without evidence, try looking at the situation more realistically: “Just because I worry something will go wrong doesn’t mean it will. There’s a good chance it will go fine, and if not, I can handle it.”
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Definition
Personalisation is when a person takes responsibility or unfairly blames themselves for events or situations beyond their control. This unnecessary responsibility can create pressure to get everything “right” and may negatively affect mood when something bad happens.
Indicators
A person engaging in personalisation may use language such as “It’s all my fault,” “If only I had…,” or “I caused this,” reflecting their tendency to take responsibility for events beyond their control.
Example
For example, if a team project doesn’t go well, a person might think, “It’s all my fault, I should have done better,” even though other factors and team members also contributed to the outcome.
Instead of blaming yourself entirely, you could reframe the thought as: “The project didn’t go perfectly, but it wasn’t all my responsibility. Other factors and team members also played a part, and I can learn from this experience for next time.”
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Definition
Overgeneralisation is a thinking pattern where a person draws broad conclusions based on limited evidence or a single negative experience. It involves assuming that one negative outcome applies to all similar situations.
Indicators
Someone engaging in overgeneralisation typically uses language that extends one experience to all similar situations, such as “always,” “never,” “every,” and “nobody.”
Example
For example, imagine you give a presentation at work and receive one piece of critical feedback. You might think, “I always mess up presentations,” or “I’m terrible at public speaking,” even though most of your presentations have gone well. This is overgeneralisation as you are drawing a broad conclusion from a single event.
Instead of thinking, “I always mess up presentations,” a more balanced thought would be: “I received one piece of feedback, but most of my presentations have gone well. I can learn from this and do even better next time.”
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Definition
Negative mental filtering is an unhelpful thinking pattern in which a person focuses only on the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring or downplaying any positive aspects. This magnifies negative details and filters out positive information, making problems appear larger or more overwhelming than they actually are.
Indicators
Negative mental filtering often shows up in language that highlights failures or difficulties while ignoring positive aspects, such as: “Nothing ever goes right” or “This is hopeless.”
Example
For example, imagine you receive feedback on a project where most comments are positive, but one point mentions a small area for improvement. If you have negative mental filtering, you might think, “I did a terrible job,” ignoring all the positive feedback.
Instead of focusing only on the criticism, a more balanced thought would be: “Most of my feedback was positive, and the one area to improve is something I can work on. Overall, I did well.”
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Definition
Emotional reasoning is a thinking pattern where a person believes that their emotions reflect the absolute truth or reality of a situation. It involves assuming that if you feel a certain way, it must be true, even when there is evidence to the contrary.
Indicators
Believing that feelings reflect facts (e.g., “I feel anxious, so something must be wrong”).
Making decisions or judgments based on feelings rather than factual evidence.
Using phrases that treat your feelings as facts, such as:
“I feel like a failure, so I must be failing.”
“I feel guilty, so I must have done something wrong.”
“I feel anxious, so this situation must be dangerous.”
Feeling overwhelmed by emotions and assuming they are an accurate reflection of reality.
Example
For example, imagine you feel anxious about meeting a new client. You might think, “I feel anxious, so I must be unprepared or I’ll mess this up,” even though you have prepared thoroughly and have the skills to handle the meeting. This is emotional reasoning—letting your feelings dictate what you assume to be true.
Instead of thinking, “I feel anxious, so I must be unprepared,” a more balanced thought would be: “Feeling anxious is normal, but I have prepared for this meeting and have the skills to handle it. My feelings don’t determine the outcome.”
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Definition
Blaming is the tendency to assign responsibility for problems or negative feelings entirely to another person (or to oneself), rather than recognising the broader picture.
Indicators
Holding others solely responsible for how you feel or for negative outcomes (e.g., “It’s their fault I’m unhappy”).
Avoiding personal responsibility by placing blame externally.
Using accusatory language such as “You made me…”, “It’s because of them…”, or “They always cause…”.
Difficulty recognising one’s own role in events, even partially.
Feeling powerless or resentful because responsibility is shifted away from oneself.
Statements like:
“I’m stressed because of my boss.”
“It’s my partner’s fault I’m unhappy.”
“If my parents had treated me differently, I wouldn’t be like this.”
Example
For example, imagine a student fails a test. Instead of acknowledging that they didn’t revise enough, they might think, “It’s the teacher’s fault for not explaining it properly.” This is blaming—placing all responsibility on the teacher while overlooking their own role in the outcome.
Instead of thinking, “It’s the teacher’s fault I failed,” a more balanced thought would be: “The teaching style may not have suited me, but I also didn’t revise as much as I could have. Next time, I can prepare more thoroughly and ask questions if I need clarification.”
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Reflection
One of the biggest challenges when introducing these concepts to clients is that they often relate to many, if not most, of the patterns. While this is a normal response, it isn’t practical or helpful to try to challenge all of them. As humans, we experience over 60,000 thoughts a day, so encountering unhelpful thinking patterns is inevitable. However, certain overarching themes, often related to anxiety, tend to stand out and are most useful to focus on in sessions.
During my personal therapy, I noticed that black-and-white thinking, catastrophising, mind reading, and negative mental filtering were my most common unhelpful thinking patterns. Interestingly, these are also the patterns I see most frequently in my practice. However, challenging these patterns is difficult and demands daily commitment and motivation, including examining the evidence for and against these thoughts, using mantras, and testing beliefs in real life situations.
References
Beck, A. T., Rush, A. J., Shaw, B. F., & Emery, G. (1979). Cognitive therapy of depression. The Guilford Press.
Burns, D. D. (1980). Feeling good: The new mood therapy. William Morrow and Company.
